How to Work in Alignment With Your Life, Rather Than Letting Your Work Dictate Your Living
If you want to live your fullest, happiest, most authentic, and joyful existence without drastically changing your life or career in one fell swoop - this is one way to do it:
Get really clear on what you want & how you want to be living. One way to do this is to write down your dream life in as much detail as possible, and as many times as you need to, to see it clearly.
Get clear on what you value and make sure that these are represented in your dream life. Your values are the intangibles that you absolutely could not live without. They are not external to you, but can only be found within you. Therefore, family & friends are not on this list (I know that feels harsh, so I encourage you to think about what it is about family or friendship that you value most. Connection? Being seen, or seeing others? Sharing? Whatever it is, note that). Values are the parameters for which we live our lives. Even though I coach heavily on purpose, my experience and belief is that knowing our values are far more important than being connected with our life purpose.
Set boundaries around the clarity found above (what you want and what you value). These boundaries should enable you to experience and protect the things that you want and value.
Honor your boundaries and begin living as if you already have your dream life.
For example, my life revolves around the ocean swells. Before I was an entrepreneur, working in a role that did not allow me the freedom to surf when the waves were good, would not have worked for me. Moving to a location where there are no waves, would not work for me. Working so many hours a week that I wouldn't have time or opportunity to surf, would not work for me. Working for a company/manager/team that would not allow me to be authentic to my wants/needs/desires/self, would not have worked for me. *But, I did make all of that work for me for far longer than I needed to.*
When I was at Microsoft, I did not dip out of the office every single time there was a swell. But, 9 times out of 10, I actually did (ask any of my old co-workers). I would email my team and tell them that I would be unavailable for a couple of hours to surf and give them an ETA for my return. And the work (and the world) went on without my attention to it.
I know, I know - this sounds extreme. But, does it? How many of you who work remotely step away from your laptop to wash the dishes, do some laundry, work out, pick up your kids from school? I'm confident that these activities do not impact your ability to get your work done.
It seems easier to justify things that are "productive" than it is to justify the things that revive and energize us. Yet, it's the things that revive and energize and inspire us that enable us to actually produce work that matters. And, not only are we feeling happier, lighter, and more fulfilled by being energized and inspired, but we are also happier, lighter, and more fulfilled when we are able to produce meaningful work.
The truth is, when we are clear about what is most important to us and we are able to experience that on a regular basis, we want for nothing. We can be content and satisfied in our life and work. We being to realize our dreams.
In fact, you don't have to quit your job to establish new boundaries with it. I didn't get clear on my wants/needs/values/boundaries until I was 28 years old (7 years after I started working in the corporate world and 2.5 years into my career at Microsoft). I adjusted gently, and the work and people adjusted around me.
Change begins from the inside-out. One you start living and embodying your values (even and especially in the workplace), everything will shift around you. No mid-life crisis necessary.
So if you are not 100% satisfied in your life, don't panic and quit your job. But do book a session to get clear on your purpose and your values, so that you can integrate them into your day to day, now.
Originally published on LinkedIn in November 2022
